23 June 2011

Getting Fit - 50 x 50

I’m not a person that others would describe as “into fitness”. Actually, the contrary is true – I have not factored fitness into my schedule up to this point. I am a lady about town who does not own a car so I walk quite a bit more than the average person. This has invited comments of “I don’t know how you can have weight on – you walk all the time”. Maybe my nephew can answer this question – I know that there is a reason that makes sense but I’m not quite ready to teach fitness yet. Lol

My first step was to set a goal and I think that it is a realistic goal. I will turn 50 in two years and thought that a goal of 50 x 50 would work for me. It works out to ½ lbs a week and that is manageable and realistic for most people. If you’re 48, maybe you will join me in this journey. Come on now - consider it.

It was timely because my annual physical was due. The universe is kind to me – in spite of my weight – I am blessed with fabulous cholesterol levels, blood sugars and all of the other indicators of good health. My weight and in particular the fact that I gain belly fat, puts me in the risk category for diseases such as adult onset diabetes – Type 2. I consider myself blessed because I don’t have it yet. I do have low iron and will have that monitored over the next three months. There are many reasons why this might be possible. Diet being one of course. So with the nod from the doctor, I move on to the next step….

I really needed an exercise program that I would actually commit to. There are things that I love to do and when I begin them, I can’t put them down – I won’t list them here - exercise does not yet make it onto my list of favourite things to do. Signing up for Survivor or Boot Camp was not a way for me to “ease in” to fitness. On my own, I started implementing small things into my daily routine like climbing the stairs in my apartment building instead of taking the elevator and I started watching programs on cooking for better health. These were OK but I felt that I might enjoy a more structured routine so I went in search of a fitness program.

I know me better than anyone knows me - it had to be pretty simple and easily accessible. I knew that if I had to travel 30 more minutes on the bus to get there, it was not going to happen. Taking the bus all week long meant that I did not want to have to add more bus time because frankly it’s painful to bus in the summer.

The Universe was watching out for me – it’s becoming a trend. There’s a Goodlife Fitness in my community. It’s not one of the bigger gyms but it has everything that I could possibly need as a beginner. I joined and this week, I have gone 4 times. I think that it is a commitment that I can keep. I tried the Zumba, the Step class, the free weights on my own. I really enjoyed the group work even though coordination is a bit of a challenge. I won’t do steps again because I have trouble with depth perception and was not as graceful as I would have liked to be. It’s not easy being visually impaired and coordinated in this setting but people are very helpful. In my first class, Karen made sure that I had a spot where I could get a great vantage point.

On Saturday I will have my personal meeting with someone who will help me design a plan and check my progress on a regular basis. I know that my resting pulse is 88 which is not good. I’m glad that I know how to measure it now. I am looking forward to seeing what my measurements and weight are (yikes). I have a ball park figure in mind but putting the reality in your face is essential to success. I’ve succeeded in other areas and appreciate the benefit of honesty.

I will post weekly – good or bad – and invite you to return and post your own comments. It is my hope that those other ladies who are approaching 50 will join me in this journey – post your own remarks and share your successes and concerns.

19 June 2011

Gender Continuum

My first year of university was a real eye opener for me. I learned so many new terms and I kept my dictionary handy as I was continually encountering new terminology. One term that particularly intrigued me was “observational learning”.

Observational learning refers to how we have the ability to learn by observing other people. The obvious example for how it works is by looking at what happens during discipline. If a child watches a sibling be disciplined for something that the other child did wrong, the child that is watching learns to behave. The observing child does not have to break the rule – he/she learned by watching the other child. This is observational learning.

Some may say that this is a good thing – there’s an old saying “Learn from my mistakes – I’ve made enough of them.” This phrase captures how observational learning works. Observational learning can be very good but it also has a shadow side.

If children are always learning from what they observe, we know as adults that sometimes what they are learning are not great lessons. There area often times when what children observe is unhealthy behaviour in adults. A very good example is with children who grow up in homes where alcoholism is prevalent. If one parent is an alcoholic, the other parent can often be co-dependant and the child will then observe dysfunction. Emotional unavailability and keeping the peach becomes the model for healthy relationships. This is important to know because the type of relationship dynamic that the child learns growing up is the one that they will thing is “normal”.

Another example is when they watch people show their feelings. If a child grows up in a home where they observed adults communicate in anger, then that becomes their “normal”. They have not observed differently. There are many examples. Children can grow up in homes where parents are loving, open and kind and where conflict is resolved in a mature fashion and the child learns from this.

As parents, we need to be aware of how observational learning works and to be aware that we have a role to play in ensuring that our children are protected. We need to be courageous enough to ask ourselves “What are my children learning from my behaviour?” Do we need a little intervention. We were all observational learners as young children. What did I learn that may not seem right now?

As parents, we need to realize that we are role models and teachers for our children. Everything we do is scrutinized and repeated. Children need good role models because they do not have the capacity to judge whether what they are watching is good or bad, they need adults to help them make that determination. You never know who is watching!!!!

17 June 2011

Eeyore and Tigger

Life is a series of ups and downs – no one stays in the same place forever. It’s been that way for me and for most of the people around me. We don’t have much control over what happens to us – but we do have control over how we respond.

There has been a lot written and said about the Law of Attraction in recent years. We are taught that in order to achieve a better life, we need to focus on where we want to go as opposed to focusing on where we are at present. When I think of this requirement, I’m immediately reminded of my favourite show as a child Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore and Tigger were two characters that I feel clearly demonstrated the law.
Eeyore always had his head hung down and was forever focused on the negative in life and anyone who spent too much time around him would surely come away feeling a little deflated and uninspired. Tigger, on the other hand, bounced through life, filled with optimism and even as I think about him bouncing around the set, I feel my spirits lifting.

Are you an Eeyore or a Tigger – I’ve been both at different times in my life and I’ve learned a few lessons along the way. First of all, for most of us, we have a choice as to which one we’re going to be. I respect that there are people who have legitimate illnesses which prevent them from controlling their thoughts. For the majority of us, we have the ability to choose at any given moment to act like Eeyore or to act like Tigger.

I have also learned that these states are contagious and when we are around Eeyores or Tiggers, their conditions rub off on us. So we must then choose carefully who we come in contact with – if we want to remain positive it is wise to surround ourselves with people who will allow us to be optimistic.

When I am able, I choose to be Tigger because we attract that which we focus on. If we are positive and uplifting, we attract that into our lives. The reverse is also true, when we are not positive, we will attract the same to us. I don’t need a professional to tell me that this is true – I have tested the theory myself. When I am Eeyore, my life is more miserable. When I am Tigger – even the dullest day looks brighter. Others around me are also impacted by my mood – so I do the math – and choose, when I can, to be Tiggerlike.

Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?

15 June 2011

Beating the Blahs!!!!

We all have days that are less than perfect – they can be brought on by any number of things – health problems, money problems, work problems, relationship problems – the list is endless. Couple any of those with the Nova Scotia weather and you have the perfect recipe for the blahs. Now what are you going to do about it?

The key to surviving those temporary moments is to, first of all, realize that they are temporary states. You also have to acknowledge that you have choices in how you react to them. There are steps that you can take to get you out of a funk. There are things that you can do to ensure that you don’t parachute into despair. .

A brisk walk will usually get me refocused but when the weather is nasty, that may not be the best option. Let’s face it, bundled up in a rainsuit battling the wind and trying to keep your umbrella from turning inside out, is not fun. So when I can’t get outside to work off steam, I turn to my writing. Writing has always been my friend – from as far back as I can remember, I have used writing to escape and to create my mood.

Sometimes I just doodle – I grab some markers and a sheet of paper and I start writing words down that represent the world as I would like for it to be today. Other times I take out a piece of paper and I start writing sentences, all perfectly lined one after the other beginning with the words… “I am grateful for…..”

Before long, I’m focusing on the positives in my life and forgetting what is bugging me.

Recently, I have started writing short stories about how the day would look if it went perfectly. Before I know it, I’ve written myself into a good mood. The thing is, we all have events that put us in a bad mood but the decision to stay there is just that, a decision. Not an easy one sometimes, but a decision no less. How you choose to turn things around is unique to each of us. I write – what do you do?

13 June 2011

Looking Back

You can't look in two directions at one time and expect to move very far in either. We've all been stuck at one time or another - trying to move forward but anchored by our past. Taking a bit of time to go back and process that which is keeping you there will be of benefit to you in the long run - face them full on, process them and then move forward.

I was reminded of a quote from the Bible - Philippians 3 starting at verse 12 is all about pressing on toward your goal. We never think about the wonderful business tips there are in the Bible.

Philippians 3:13 - forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.

My life has been like this, when I was focused on that which was behind - I not only did it wholeheartedly, but I certainly did not move forward - I became mired in the past. It was only when I made a conscious decision to focus my energy, my thinking and my talent on that which was ahead of me that I made any real headway.

The message is clear - that which we focus upon becomes bigger - so focus on where you wish to go - forward or backward, the choice is yours.

9 June 2011

An Aptitude for Diversity

Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.

From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.

Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.

There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.

Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.

I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.

Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.

The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.

People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.

An Aptitude for Diversity

An Aptitude for Diversity

Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.

From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.

Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.

There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.

Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.
I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.

Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.

The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.

People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.