Self Advocacy - Speaking for yourself

Self advocacy is the ability to ask for the things you need in life and the ability to protect and establish boundaries. There are many people who are unable to self-advocate for one reason or another and that is not so bad if you can ask someone else to advocate on your behalf. There are times when it is wiser to get someone to advocate on your behalf especially where the subject matter is complicated. Lawyers are advocates in this sense.

In our day to day dealings with people around us, we do not want to resort to asking for someone to speak for us if it can be avoided. It is much better, if possible , to learn to ask for what you need or speak up when an injustice is occurring.

It is never too late to learn how to speak up, we learn across the lifespan. A very good first step is to start small and build on success. In our day to day lives, it can be as simple as telling someone that what they are doing is offensive..

Let me give you a simple example in what can happen in the home. Our family are always eating snacks and when they are finished they leave their dishes all over the place. I found it disrespectful to have to go around and pick up the dishes after everyone had tucked in for the night. So I spoke up. I said that I felt unappreciated after making such a delicious snack. I asked if they might pick up their dishes and place them in the dishwasher when they were done. I was surprised with the result. I only have to remind them occasionally.

That's a simple example but think of the ramifications in other parts of your life if you can't even speak up with people that you love and who love you. You're sitting at a meeting at work one day and your supervisor is telling you what the new policy will be. You know that this policy won't work but you don't speak up because you don't want to be seen as a complainer. The new policy takes effect, your direct reports are miserable and they come to you and complain. What kind of a leader will you look like if you tell them that you saw this coming but didn't speak up. If you speak up on such occasions, it is quite possible that your idea will have merit - maybe the policy makers had not taken your point of view into consideration. The other positive outcome is that people see you as a person who has principles and doesn't shy away from a difficult conversation. It's a win/win.

Of course it is possible that your idea will be squashed or ignored but you will be better served having voiced it and having it on the record. People report that once they speak up in a small way, it becomes easier over time. Build on success, set small goals and then move to larger things. People who advocate for themselves are not thought of as complainers by the people that matter. Think about it.