I really didn't think that letting go of my daughter would be a problem for me when she became a young adult. I enjoyed being a mom and raised a wonderfully bright, mature and caring child in spite of the challenges of single parenting.
Now she is almost 16 and she is pulling away which of course is a natural occurrence at this age. I like that she has developed great friendships and that she wants to try new things on her own without her mother's input. I did try to raise her to be a successful adult.
In spite of this, I still want to protect her from a world that I know can be unkind. I look back on my own life and see that I was often stubborn and I really didn't learn from people telling me what to do as much as I learned from trying new things and then failing or succeeding. I'm certain that the same will be true for her.
Even though I understand how it is that adults learn, I still struggle with the notion that she is ready for a world that can be unkind on occasion. It can also be very rewarding. Did I give her the right tools? Will she be overwhelmed? Will she be duped by some and inspired by others? Oh, probably as I was and others before me. I hope that I gave her good tools to manage in the world and that she will acquire more along the way.
As for me, I'll have to get over it. Detach with love - let her go to explore and take risk and find her own way in the world and her place in it. I wrote her a note and told her that I was always here for her with no problem too big for us to handle. I also told her that her friends would help her out too and that there was no need for me to be her only "go to" person. I'm a little sad inside that I won't be of course. But such is the role of a mother - roots and wings.
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