Accountability Partners

If you have ever tried to change something about your life, you know that it is tough. It's possible to change but it is a challenge. This is the way that it usually plays out. You'll make up your mind that next time you're going to do things differently. Your logical voice can even articulate all the wonderful reasons why it is a good idea to change this particular thing. You'll have a plan of action supported by conviction and you know for certain that things are going to be different next time.

Then!!! You start to waiver. You hear another little voice saying, "Well it's not that bad." "Better a devil you know then one you don't know." and it goes on from there. Before you know it you're falling back into old patterns of behaviour. I know it to be true because I've been there and I've met others on the journey with the same story.

What I enjoy about awareness is that if we know this pattern, we can put a plan in place to deal with it. I have adopted the practise of working with an accountability partner when I want to change a behaviour. At one time I thought I'd team up with someone who needed to change in the same way that I did. But that didn't work because what happened is that not only would I talk myself out of my plan of action, my peer supporter would help me to justify not changing.

Now I've figured out that my accountability partner will have to be someone who is solidly situated where they are. I articulate what it is that I need from them with regards to checking in. We have a contract of sorts at the beginning to say that this is how much freedom I'm giving the other person to help me to change. It works extremely well and the key is that it has to be someone you trust.

When you start to hear your destructive voice telling you that things aren't that bad or that the status quo is OK, you know intuitively that this is not beneficial to think this way. At this point, you check in with your accountability partner and through chatting, you once again find the resolve to stay the course. When you give voice to your concerns, it has a very positive effect. It reminds you what you are now committed to and calls attention to the destructive voice.

I believe that with an accountability partner, our chances of succeeding in change are greatly increased. Change is still difficult, you still have to do all the work, but getting the help you need to stay on track speaks to commitment and courage. You can do it.